Being Thankful

Last Sunday, I made a life changing decision I never thought I would. It was an untimely decision; I made at a time when I was rushing for deadlines, struggling with labs and mugging for tests/quizzes. It couldn't have been worse. I never thought I could tide over this phase easily. I was all alone in a foreign land.

It was through these series of events that I started to notice people's concerns for me and I learnt to appreciate their acts of love and kindness. My friends and family from Singapore were constantly skyping with me to give me the moral support that I need. My friends in Canberra were physically here for me, making sure that I was coping fine. Even though the odds are overwhelming, I know that I am able to survive through it an emerge as a stronger person because of the ample love and support I get from the people around me. How blessed can I be?

I never used to feel or think in this way. And this statement "Everything happens for a reason" was crap to me.

When met with obstacles in life, I used to question "Why put me through all these shit in life? What did I do to deserve these?" Previously, I used to believe in the Christian faith but at my lowest point in my life, I had doubts. I lost faith. I started to ask "What do you mean by everything happens for a reason? You mean these things happen so that I can suffer in pain?"

Instead of putting in effort to get things back on track, I spent a great deal of time mulling, crying, grumbling, complaining and swearing. In short, I was feeling helpless and angry, all because I chose to be that way. I rarely reflected on what I had done to contribute to that outcome, I always took the easier way out by putting the blame on others. When people around me started to show acts of love and concern, I was oblivious to them, all because I chose to focus on the problems and how much they have screwed my life. Kind words always fell on deaf ears.

Nonetheless, all these changed in recent years, especially after I came to Canberra. I started to mellow down and began searching for directions in life; to know what I was looking for and where I was heading to. I am more thankful than ever, for what I have and with that, I learn how to appreciate the better in life. Though I am still nowhere near perfect but I am no longer the disgruntled little kid I used to be. I guess being away from home and my loved ones has taught me how to see things from another aspect. I may have taken them for granted in the past and this is something I hope will never happen again.

Now, I constantly remind myself to be thankful for whatever I have and I truly do feel that way. I am thankful for receiving a fine education, being well brought up, having food on the table, enjoying the companion of others, basking in love, making good friends, being missed dearly, gaining more knowledge, learning new things, being well received and everything else which I have that made me who I am today.
As I look at the bigger picture and now, everything seems to make sense. If I haven't been through tougher times, I probably would not have learnt how to appreciate the good times now, and I definately will not have gained 'enlightenment' and see things from a different (positive) perspective.

I may not have the best of everything but I am making the best out of everything I have and all that was given to me.

I am starting to love life, I really do.

Me being happy and thankful for all that I have. Anyway that's our (my roomie + me) standard dinner. I always try to make it a point to have 3 dishes and 1 soup but at times it proves to be a little challenging, especially when it comes to cooking soup because the stove they provided is an induction stove that takes forever to heat the pot of soup up (not to mention boiling it).